Before I get into this I just want to say that this story does end well. I'm writing this just to sort it all out, to find a space to put it because I'm still trying to calm down. Today when I was at the pool I lost my 2 year old son for 20-25 minutes.
Every afternoon after lunch I take Lily and Jude down to the pool to play for an hour before their afternoon nap. We live just just outside the park that the pool is in so it's easy to just walk down and let them burn off some energy.
It was a perfectly normal day at the pool. The kids know the rule that they have to stay at the same pool so I can keep an eye on them. If we want to switch pools we go together. They are very good about following the rules or else I would never even consider taking them by myself.
We went down to our towels to get our stuff when it was time to go. Lily was mad at me because she wanted to stay later but I explained that I had given them time warnings that it was almost time to go, and that dad would probably take them back after dinner. She wasn't happy with me and kind of huffed behind me with her arms crossed over her chest. All of a sudden she let out a giggle and told Jude she was going to get them. He squealed and tore off through the grass. I didn't think anything of it because they are very good about stopping when I tell them to and they always did once they reached the pavement around the pool because they know they aren't supposed to run on the pavement. I quickened my step though, and once he got to the pavement I yelled out, "Judah, Stop!" He paused and started to walk. When Lily and I got to the pavement he squealed again and tore off towards the men's entrance/exit into the pool. The problem is that the entrance/exit goes down a hallway with a door into the restroom/changing rooms, and I knew I was about to lose sight of him. I don't like losing site of my children. I yelled for him to stop but her was almost 20 feet away from me at that point and couldn't hear me over the noise at the pool. I grabbed Lily by the hand and told her to hurry up. At this point she decided it was the perfect time to dig in her heels and give me a hard time. I grabbed her, yanked her to her feet, and barked at her that I couldn't see Jude and we had to go NOW. I bolted down the women's hall and rounded the corner to the front of the pool where you check in expecting Jude to be there grinning. But Jude wasn't there. That was when the panic started to really set in.
I looked at the guy who checks us in everyday and he said Jude had run out the door. I asked him if he was sure and he nodded. I couldn't believe he would just let a two year old go out of the pool by themselves but I didn't have time for that so I raced outside with Lily still tight in my hand and turned the corner the way we always came. Since we live so close and come so often we have a very set route to and from the pool. I figured that he had to have just gone around the corner of the pool and I would find him by the bike racks or dragging his hand along the fence. But he wasn't there. I didn't see him anywhere. I did a quick pass over the parking lot and along the bushes bordering the pool but it was like he had vanished. I ran back to the guy at the counter and asked him again if he was sure it was my son. He said he was. I asked him to please just check the men's changing room for me to be sure, he did, no Jude. Then he came out with me and called the cops. We looked together though the parking lot and all around the perimeter of the pool. I was trying to keep calm not just because I knew that being in a total panic wasn't going to help but also because I didn't want Lily to start to get really scared.
Let me tell you how impossible it is to keep a clear head and not panic when your child is gone. Children are the single most valuable thing you have. You will leave anything of monetary value at home and go run errands or what have you. You would never leave your small children at home alone to do the same thing. As a parent there is nothing more terrifying than not knowing where one of your children is. I was freaking out. I felt sick to my stomach, I literally thought I was going to throw up. I was praying to God that he was OK and I would find him.
I went down to the playground towards the edge of the park thinking maybe he had gone down there. No Jude. We went back up to the pool. No Jude. I went back in the pool and scanned the pools, the grass, the pavement. No Jude. And where the fuck were the cops?! Every minute was a lifetime. Every second brought me one second closer to losing control. I was walking down around the perimeter outside the pool when another staff member asked if I was OK. No I was not OK. I was far from OK. I asked why the cops were taking so long. I wanted to go and search the entire park area but I felt like I had to be close to the pool when they got there so I could give a description. I needed them. They could shut down the park. They had cars that could cover more ground than I could dragging around my four year old.
The whistles blew inside the pool signaling the time for everyone to get out so there could be an adult swim. I knew that meant it had been 15 minutes since I had lost my son. I started to cry. I felt like I was in a fog. I didn't know what to do. I had looked everywhere I thought he could be and he was nowhere. He had vanished. I started thinking the worst, that in our small town someone had seen him by himself and had taken him. That he was gone. Lily was starting to whimper next to me. No Jude, no cops, nothing. The world was standing still.
Then one of the staff said that someone had seen a little boy by himself down at the bathrooms by the edge of the park. It was a good three football lengths to get there. A lifeguard came with Lily and I. About halfway there she asked if I wanted her to walk with Lily so I could run down. I handed Lily's hand to her and bolted down to the bathrooms. There was Jude. I called to him and he turned and we ran to each other. I don't think I've ever held him so tight. I was sobbing. I told him he had scared me, that I thought I had lost him because I couldn't see him and I couldn't find him. He said he had missed me.
I got Lily and thanked the lifeguard profusely. Jude said he ran because he didn't want Lily to catch him. Lily said she didn't like that game, and she didn't want to play it ever again. The lifeguard said I could just go if I wanted since the cops weren't there yet, that they would handle it when the cops did show up. I agreed, because really, all I wanted to do was go home with my children. As we were heading out of exit of the park I saw the cops coming into the entrance, about 15-20 minutes after they had been called. I decided I had nothing good to say to them and kept walking home.
So I learned something. Even though my kids are very well behaved and good listeners, mistakes happen. Those mistakes can change everything in an instant. I never would have thought I would have lost my son like that, but I did. I did, and I am not a bad mom. I am aware of where my kids are and what they are doing. I learned that my kids need to know what to do if they get lost, and I need to drive it into them at a very young age. I think I took it for granted because we live in a town with under 9,000 people in it. Also we were just over a 1/4 mile from our house on a route we walk once if not twice a day during the summer. I learned that my kids need to understand that when we go into a place, we go into it together, and leave it together, no exceptions. I should have started this as soon as they were out of a stroller and not 100% under my control at all times.
I lost my two year old for about 25 minutes. It was the worst 25 minutes of my life. But I found Jude. And as they are with me, just feet away safe and napping, I am blessed.
Every afternoon after lunch I take Lily and Jude down to the pool to play for an hour before their afternoon nap. We live just just outside the park that the pool is in so it's easy to just walk down and let them burn off some energy.
It was a perfectly normal day at the pool. The kids know the rule that they have to stay at the same pool so I can keep an eye on them. If we want to switch pools we go together. They are very good about following the rules or else I would never even consider taking them by myself.
We went down to our towels to get our stuff when it was time to go. Lily was mad at me because she wanted to stay later but I explained that I had given them time warnings that it was almost time to go, and that dad would probably take them back after dinner. She wasn't happy with me and kind of huffed behind me with her arms crossed over her chest. All of a sudden she let out a giggle and told Jude she was going to get them. He squealed and tore off through the grass. I didn't think anything of it because they are very good about stopping when I tell them to and they always did once they reached the pavement around the pool because they know they aren't supposed to run on the pavement. I quickened my step though, and once he got to the pavement I yelled out, "Judah, Stop!" He paused and started to walk. When Lily and I got to the pavement he squealed again and tore off towards the men's entrance/exit into the pool. The problem is that the entrance/exit goes down a hallway with a door into the restroom/changing rooms, and I knew I was about to lose sight of him. I don't like losing site of my children. I yelled for him to stop but her was almost 20 feet away from me at that point and couldn't hear me over the noise at the pool. I grabbed Lily by the hand and told her to hurry up. At this point she decided it was the perfect time to dig in her heels and give me a hard time. I grabbed her, yanked her to her feet, and barked at her that I couldn't see Jude and we had to go NOW. I bolted down the women's hall and rounded the corner to the front of the pool where you check in expecting Jude to be there grinning. But Jude wasn't there. That was when the panic started to really set in.
I looked at the guy who checks us in everyday and he said Jude had run out the door. I asked him if he was sure and he nodded. I couldn't believe he would just let a two year old go out of the pool by themselves but I didn't have time for that so I raced outside with Lily still tight in my hand and turned the corner the way we always came. Since we live so close and come so often we have a very set route to and from the pool. I figured that he had to have just gone around the corner of the pool and I would find him by the bike racks or dragging his hand along the fence. But he wasn't there. I didn't see him anywhere. I did a quick pass over the parking lot and along the bushes bordering the pool but it was like he had vanished. I ran back to the guy at the counter and asked him again if he was sure it was my son. He said he was. I asked him to please just check the men's changing room for me to be sure, he did, no Jude. Then he came out with me and called the cops. We looked together though the parking lot and all around the perimeter of the pool. I was trying to keep calm not just because I knew that being in a total panic wasn't going to help but also because I didn't want Lily to start to get really scared.
Let me tell you how impossible it is to keep a clear head and not panic when your child is gone. Children are the single most valuable thing you have. You will leave anything of monetary value at home and go run errands or what have you. You would never leave your small children at home alone to do the same thing. As a parent there is nothing more terrifying than not knowing where one of your children is. I was freaking out. I felt sick to my stomach, I literally thought I was going to throw up. I was praying to God that he was OK and I would find him.
I went down to the playground towards the edge of the park thinking maybe he had gone down there. No Jude. We went back up to the pool. No Jude. I went back in the pool and scanned the pools, the grass, the pavement. No Jude. And where the fuck were the cops?! Every minute was a lifetime. Every second brought me one second closer to losing control. I was walking down around the perimeter outside the pool when another staff member asked if I was OK. No I was not OK. I was far from OK. I asked why the cops were taking so long. I wanted to go and search the entire park area but I felt like I had to be close to the pool when they got there so I could give a description. I needed them. They could shut down the park. They had cars that could cover more ground than I could dragging around my four year old.
The whistles blew inside the pool signaling the time for everyone to get out so there could be an adult swim. I knew that meant it had been 15 minutes since I had lost my son. I started to cry. I felt like I was in a fog. I didn't know what to do. I had looked everywhere I thought he could be and he was nowhere. He had vanished. I started thinking the worst, that in our small town someone had seen him by himself and had taken him. That he was gone. Lily was starting to whimper next to me. No Jude, no cops, nothing. The world was standing still.
Then one of the staff said that someone had seen a little boy by himself down at the bathrooms by the edge of the park. It was a good three football lengths to get there. A lifeguard came with Lily and I. About halfway there she asked if I wanted her to walk with Lily so I could run down. I handed Lily's hand to her and bolted down to the bathrooms. There was Jude. I called to him and he turned and we ran to each other. I don't think I've ever held him so tight. I was sobbing. I told him he had scared me, that I thought I had lost him because I couldn't see him and I couldn't find him. He said he had missed me.
I got Lily and thanked the lifeguard profusely. Jude said he ran because he didn't want Lily to catch him. Lily said she didn't like that game, and she didn't want to play it ever again. The lifeguard said I could just go if I wanted since the cops weren't there yet, that they would handle it when the cops did show up. I agreed, because really, all I wanted to do was go home with my children. As we were heading out of exit of the park I saw the cops coming into the entrance, about 15-20 minutes after they had been called. I decided I had nothing good to say to them and kept walking home.
So I learned something. Even though my kids are very well behaved and good listeners, mistakes happen. Those mistakes can change everything in an instant. I never would have thought I would have lost my son like that, but I did. I did, and I am not a bad mom. I am aware of where my kids are and what they are doing. I learned that my kids need to know what to do if they get lost, and I need to drive it into them at a very young age. I think I took it for granted because we live in a town with under 9,000 people in it. Also we were just over a 1/4 mile from our house on a route we walk once if not twice a day during the summer. I learned that my kids need to understand that when we go into a place, we go into it together, and leave it together, no exceptions. I should have started this as soon as they were out of a stroller and not 100% under my control at all times.
I lost my two year old for about 25 minutes. It was the worst 25 minutes of my life. But I found Jude. And as they are with me, just feet away safe and napping, I am blessed.
Lord so happy that story had a happy ending. I can't even imagine how that must feel. You're right even the best behaved do not listen all the time.a similar thing happened a few years ago when my 8 year okd nephew didn't come home after school. He'd gotten all involved with some frogs down by the creek on the way home and totally forgot about time dinner darkness etc. this is a tiny town too and Polly Klass was taken not far from here. The cops were called out . He wasn't punished everybody was just too glad to have him home safe. He never did it agin btw.
ReplyDeleteOh my God....I wish I could hug you. xo
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